hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
