Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
