i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
How naked do you want me to be?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
