i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
