I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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