why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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