Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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