Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
