ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
