Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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