You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
