sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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