the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
