so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
