Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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