he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
