I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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