You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
