good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
