I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
