You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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