quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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