Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just high enough for therapy.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
