just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
