All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
