maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Actions speak louder than pants.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
