The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
