Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
