This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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