my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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