I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
