I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
