can we get nightvision for the apartment?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
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