I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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