ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
