You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
