All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
