guys are not supposed to queef...right?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
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