there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
