So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
