Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
