Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
