ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
