i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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