the day after is always just damage control
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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