Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
