Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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