Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
