I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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