i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
