Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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